You Don’t Have to Earn Your Enoughness

You Don’t Have to Earn Your Enoughness

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught to be good girls.
To check all the boxes.
To work twice as hard.
To be polite, accomplished, well-spoken, palatable.

Especially if you’re a woman.
Especially if you’re a woman of color.
Especially if your success has always been tied to how much you do.

Here’s what I’ve learned—and what I’m still unlearning:

Enoughness isn’t earned. It’s innate.

You don’t need another credential.
You don’t need to say yes when your body is saying no.
You don’t need to prove your place in every room.

You are already enough—before the promotion, before the applause, before the LinkedIn post.

🧠 The Science Behind It:

Studies in self-determination theory show that intrinsic self-worth is essential for well-being. When our sense of value is tied only to achievement or external validation, we stay in a constant loop of seeking, proving, and performing.

That loop is exhausting—and unsustainable.

What shifts things?
A practice of pausing.
A practice of self-acknowledgment.
A practice of knowing you bring value, even when you’re still figuring it out.

💬 Try This: Enoughness Journal Prompt

This week, set a timer for 5 minutes and free-write on this question:

"Where in my life am I still trying to prove I’m enough?"

Don’t edit. Don’t judge. Just notice.

Then write this down—and say it out loud if you can:

“I am already enough. I do not have to earn my worth.”

✨ The Shift This Week

This isn’t about ignoring your ambition.
It’s about remembering that your being is as sacred as your doing.

You can still pursue big goals.
You can still want more.
But let’s stop trying to earn love, respect, or value through exhaustion.

Because you already are enough. And you’ve always been.

Until next week—stay grounded, and sparkle on. ✨
— Elisa

📚 What I’m Reading

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
This book has been a companion on my own journey of unlearning the belief that I have to prove my worth. Brené Brown’s research—and her honesty—remind us that embracing our imperfections is not weakness; it’s courage.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”

I recently had the chance to see her live at SXSW, recording an episode of her podcast. It was incredible to watch her in action—so grounded, so no-nonsense, so deeply herself. A powerful reminder that wholeness doesn’t come from hustle.

📖 Get the book here